Did I Use That Comma Right? Why This Tiny Punctuation Mark Still Makes Me Nervous

The Comma. My Tiny Nemesis

Disclaimer, my commas may not be in the right place in this blog. 😉

You’d think after writing several manuscripts and short stories and editing them until my eyes cross—I’d have made peace with commas by now.

But no.
That tiny punctuation mark still gives me anxiety.

I’m currently polishing one of my manuscripts, readying it for submission to literary agents, and once again, commas are taunting me from the shadows of every paragraph. Do I need one here? Is that a splice? What about before and? Should I break the rules for rhythm? Or does that just make me look like I don’t know the rules at all?

Sometimes it feels like the comma is the passive-aggressive fake friend of the punctuation world. Always there. And always judging. Never quite telling you what it wants from you.

Why Commas Are So Confusing

The comma is supposed to bring clarity, but it often causes confusion, especially for writers who live by flow, cadence, and storytelling instincts.

One reason commas can be so nerve-wracking is they’re not just grammatical, they’re emotional. They affect the feel of a sentence. The pace. The pause. The drama.

Both versions work, right? But one has a comma before the conjunction (but) and one doesn’t. Technically, the first is considered more correct if we’re combining two independent clauses. But in dialogue? Or inner monologue? Maybe the second feels more natural.

For instance:

She didn’t want to go, but she knew she had to.
She didn’t want to go but she knew she had to.

This is where writers start second-guessing. And the next thing you know, you’re stuck on one sentence for fifteen minutes wondering if you’ve committed a punctuation crime.

The Comma Rules (And How I Break Them Anyway)

Here’s a quick refresher on some ‘standard’ comma rules that often mess with my brain mid-edit:

• Use a comma before a conjunction (and, but, or, so, yet) when joining two independent clauses.

I wanted to sleep, but my brain had other ideas.

• Use commas to separate items in a list.

She packed her manuscript, her notebook, and a pen.
(Yes, I’m pro-Oxford comma. I like my clarity, and I cannot lie.)

• Use commas after introductory phrases or words.

After a long writing session, I collapsed on the couch.

• Use commas to set off nonessential information.

My editor, who is a wizard with words, suggested cutting that chapter.

But then we hit gray areas like dialogue tags, stylistic pauses, internal rhythm. And suddenly the comma becomes less about grammar and more about vibe.

‘I don’t know,’ she said, ‘maybe I should just delete the whole thing.’

‘I don’t know’ she said. ‘Maybe I should just delete the whole thing.’

Which is right? Depends who you ask. Depends on the editor. Depends on the style guide. Depends if Mercury is in retrograde.

Comma Confidence (Or Faking It Till You Make It)

Here’s the thing: even seasoned writers wrestle with commas. It’s not a sign you’re a bad writer it’s a sign you care. You want your words to read smoothly. You want to respect the craft. You want agents to get lost in your story, not distracted by awkward punctuation.

So I’ve made peace with my comma anxiety by doing three things:

1. Learning the rules well enough to know when I’m breaking them.
   I keep a cheat sheet handy. (There are plenty of great grammar sites that make this less painful than it sounds.)
2. Reading my work out loud.
   If I naturally pause when I read, I often add a comma. If the sentence flows better without it, I delete it. Yes, it’s a bit intuitive. But to me writing is both science and art.
3. Using tools—but not relying on them blindly.
   Grammarly and ProWritingAid can help spot obvious issues, but they don’t understand your narrative voice. Don’t do what I did recently and blindly went with the program’s suggestions. Trust your instincts but double-check where it matters.

An Editor Is Your Friend (Even When They Slay Your Commas)

As I prep this manuscript for pitching, I remind myself that I don’t have to catch every single comma mishap. That’s why we have editors. The pros will polish the final draft with a fine-tooth red pen and the occasional curse under their breath.

My job right now is to make the story shine, cut the clutter, refine the flow, and get my commas as close to correct as my sanity allows.

And if I miss a few? That’s okay.

I employ professional editors in my business Blott Business, and for the final draft of my fiction manuscripts.

You’re Not Alone

If commas make you nervous too, welcome to the club. There’s no shame in it. We’re all just trying to wrangle our words into something beautiful, and sometimes that means overthinking a comma for far too long.

So here’s to the nervous writers. The comma-splitters. The em-dash lovers. The Oxford comma diehards. And the brave souls hitting ‘submit’ on their manuscript, commas and all.

And if you are trying to over come perfectionism you might like my blog on Kill the Perfectionist in YOU!

Affiliate Disclaimer

We may have an affiliate relationship with some of the merchants we mention and may make a small commission if you follow the link or decide to purchase. You will not be charged extra and in some cases may be charged less due to our relationship.

We only affiliate and endorse products, services, and merchants that we consider of the highest quality standard, are of value to our readers, and have used previously or are currently using ourselves.

It is your personal responsibility to conduct your own investigation to determine whether to purchase an affiliate product or service and to decide if the product or service is right for you. You must do your own due diligence and not rely on any recommendation, reference, or information provided by us. We also cannot be held liable or responsible for any damages resulting from your purchase.