Goal Setting Anxiety and Giving Yourself a Break.

Got goal setting anxiety?

Did you set some goals for 2023 and didn’t quite make them all? I don’t know about you, but as the year draws to a close, my anxiety kicks in. I check over my New Year’s resolutions list and my first instinct is to zero in on the things I didn’t achieve this year. To be fair, there were some pretty huge goals on there.

To turn my negativity around, I sat myself down and gave myself a good talking to. Then I went over my list, and the reality was I’d achieved 44 out of the 50 goals I’d set for myself. Not bad really.

I won’t bore you with all fifty of my goals. For this exercise, I’ll focus on my writing related activities and what I was proud of in 2023.

So, if you are like me and are giving yourself a hard time. This is what I suggest.

Step one: Sit yourself down, grab a cozy blanket or your favourite beverage, and reflect on your 2023. Instead of dwelling on what didn’t go as planned, think about your victories big and small.

Did you step out of your comfort zone? Embrace a new hobby? Strengthen relationships? Maybe you conquered a fear or learned a valuable life lesson?

On reflection, I realised I’d met so many amazing people this year and attended numerous events, workshops and book launches. Pushing myself way out of my comfort zone once again, I entered an anthology competition. I’ve spent years hiding my writing and entering nothing. My romance short story, Old Long Since, has been selected for the Rainforest Writers Retreat Anthology called Splashes of Love. Who knew I still had romantic notions? Just goes to show you’ve got to be in it to win it.

Life is a series of unpredictable twists and turns. Sometimes, the path we planned isn’t the one we end up walking, and that’s okay. I moved house this year. The time involved in renovating and preparing the house for sale, selling, and buying and then settling into the new home all took longer than expected.

Despite all this, I finished Men Must Die. I’m so proud to have compiled this book in my great grandfather’s memory. He wrote this book after WW2. It’s his legacy. It took up a lot of my time, but I wanted our family to have the opportunity of having a printed copy before his words became scattered to the wind. We will remember you, Edward John Harmsworth.

Here’s a picture of my Great Aunty Mary with her copy of her father-in-law’s book. She sent me a lovely message thanking me for putting it together.

My first book, Search for the Holy Whale, is still selling, doing the rounds in 2023, popping up in libraries across Australia, school libraries, and in online and retail bookshops. https://selenajane.com/shop/

Step two: Time to dive into the nitty-gritty of your year. Grab a pen, find your favourite notebook, or even just a scrap of paper–and unleash the power of reflection.

Jot down everything that comes to mind. No achievement is too small, no victory too trivial. Whether you aced a work project, nailed a presentation, or managed to keep your plants alive, write it down.

If you use social media, take a stroll down your digital memory lane. I find this really helpful. Scroll through your posts, photos, and memories. It’s like a curated timeline of your year. Did you share a proud moment, a personal win, or a snapshot of a fun occasion?

Reflect not only on personal achievements but also on the positive impacts you’ve had on others. Did you lend a helping hand, inspire a friend, or contribute to a cause you believe in? Your influence might have created ripples of positivity that deserve acknowledgment.

For me, I attended Bookfest this year and sold my books at my first in person event. As the newly appointed Publicity Coordinator for the Gold Coast Writers’ Association, I took along some of our members, who were also new to selling their books in public. It was great fun, and we learned a lot from other authors. Thanks to Sandra, Arnold, Alison, Gavin, Rochelle, Livia, Chris, and Andy for your time and enthusiasm.

I also ticked off a few items on my to do list. I set up my square for taking payments, created a banner to promote my book, and designed a new logo for Selena Jane, with the help of my new friend over on Fiverr. I highly recommend Fiverr, creatively I do okay, but I always need help when it comes to dimensions and pulling it all together. Go here –

Fiverr

Here’s a picture of my big ass banner. Well, if you are going to put yourself out there, you may as well go for it. And my new logo.

Step three: Once you’ve made your list of what you achieved, you can pat yourself on the back, do a little jig. And now you can start creating your new goals for 2024.

First, decide whether anything on last year’s list is relevant and add it to your new list or let it go. Some goals may have served their purpose, and that’s perfectly fine. Reflect on what still resonates with your journey and incorporate those gems into your new list. And remember, it’s okay to bid farewell to goals that no longer align with your path. I’m a firm believer that if it’s meant for you, it won’t pass you by.

Think about what sparks joy for you? What ignites your passion? Whether it’s personal growth, career milestones, or cultivating meaningful relationships, jot down the aspirations that make your heart race a bit faster. These are your compass points for the coming year.

I’m always excited to attend the GCWA meeting each month and anything writing or reading related. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals. This is my third year serving on the committee of the Gold Coast Writers’ Association. I feel completely alive when I’m with this group of passionate individuals who, like me, are also writers.

Goals are guideposts, not strict rules. Embrace the journey and remember that detours often lead to the most beautiful destinations.

As you craft your new goals, envision the person you want to become and the experiences you want to embrace. Your canvas is blank, and you’re the artist.

As always, a huge thank you to my writing tribe who encourage me, my first readers Kellie, Christine, Lizz, and Jen. I cherish the friendships we’ve formed and the growth I’ve gained from being together.